"A normal response to the abnormality of what is happening"
Commentary and advice from an expert
The events of the last six months in Belarus have left many scars on our "collective body". The body remembers everything, the body does not forget. The body is in shock, the body shrinks, freezes, kicks, runs, refuses to move. The body cannot relax, the body spasms, the body goes numb. We lose meaning, we become hypervigilant and reactive, we may experience painful "flashbacks," we may cry bitterly, we may get angry, we may feel trapped, we may lose sleep and appetite, enjoy familiar things, work, relationships. We may feel misunderstood, mute, humiliated. We may feel helpless and out of control, and unable to turn for support and resources, even if they are available.
The events of the last six months in Belarus have left many scars on our "collective body". The body remembers everything, the body does not forget. The body is in shock, the body shrinks, freezes, kicks, runs, refuses to move. The body cannot relax, the body spasms, the body goes numb. We lose meaning, we become hypervigilant and reactive, we may experience painful "flashbacks," we may cry bitterly, we may get angry, we may feel trapped, we may lose sleep and appetite, enjoy familiar things, work, relationships. We may feel misunderstood, mute, humiliated. We may feel helpless and out of control, and unable to turn for support and resources, even if they are available.
"Trauma is an episode of such overstimulation of the nervous system that a person cannot deal with in ordinary ways - due to a lack of adequate support, resources, time."
Trauma is an episode of such overstimulation of the nervous system that a person cannot deal with in ordinary ways - due to a lack of adequate support, resources, time.
It is the inability to survive a certain event, in the case of male and female Belarusians, it is a series of intense, repetitive, unexpected, violent, frightening events. A whole frozen set of thoughts, feelings, decisions at the moment of a traumatic situation - which cannot be processed or assimilated. Any reminder of the situation can actualize this fixation, then the trauma "hurts" - and the person relives the emotions they experienced in the traumatic situation all over again.
Traumatic events can also carry additional meaning - the collapse of our basic illusions: about immortality, the fairness of the world, the simplicity of the world order, our own inviolability and security. Traumatic experiences become more than just "life experiences". Trauma organizes the personality around itself. It shapes not only our negative perceptions of the world, but also of ourselves.
Even if we are not directly affected, it is important to remember that many of us carry the trauma of witnessing within us. This is a similar change in a person's inner experience, resulting from empathic involvement with others experiencing a traumatic state, or from witnessing someone else's encounter with violence.
In addition, staying in a situation of acute prolonged stress we can feel "learned helplessness" - a depressed state arising from the futility of our own actions.
Traumatic events can also carry additional meaning - the collapse of our basic illusions: about immortality, the fairness of the world, the simplicity of the world order, our own inviolability and security. Traumatic experiences become more than just "life experiences". Trauma organizes the personality around itself. It shapes not only our negative perceptions of the world, but also of ourselves.
Even if we are not directly affected, it is important to remember that many of us carry the trauma of witnessing within us. This is a similar change in a person's inner experience, resulting from empathic involvement with others experiencing a traumatic state, or from witnessing someone else's encounter with violence.
In addition, staying in a situation of acute prolonged stress we can feel "learned helplessness" - a depressed state arising from the futility of our own actions.
The psyche doesn't want us to break down, the psyche is trying to somehow process what's going on around us and what response it all causes inside; it's trying to build everything that's happening into the picture of the world - at least to the contrary, to "chew" some prohibitive flow of information about pain, suffering, violence and injustice.
The psyche doesn't want us to break down, the psyche is trying to somehow process what's going on around us and what response it all causes inside; it's trying to build everything that's happening into the picture of the world - at least to the contrary, to "chew" some prohibitive flow of information about pain, suffering, violence and injustice.
Everyone adapts as best they can - some with creativity, or partisanship, humor, or aggression, collective action and mutual assistance, seclusion and isolation. Small acts of resistance are woven into a common cannon of protest, of disagreement with what is happening.
Different survival strategies are as good or better than others. Try not to judge your own ways of coping or how others around you are coping. Everything, absolutely everything, that happens to us is normal. It is a normal response to the abnormality of what is happening.
If we cannot affect the stressful environment, all of our personal resources must be devoted to improving our own condition in the "here and now".
We are already coping - even if we find ourselves with the strange and scary symptoms, markers of the traumatic experiences I mentioned above. In every moment, we do our best to stay alive.
Different survival strategies are as good or better than others. Try not to judge your own ways of coping or how others around you are coping. Everything, absolutely everything, that happens to us is normal. It is a normal response to the abnormality of what is happening.
If we cannot affect the stressful environment, all of our personal resources must be devoted to improving our own condition in the "here and now".
We are already coping - even if we find ourselves with the strange and scary symptoms, markers of the traumatic experiences I mentioned above. In every moment, we do our best to stay alive.
It is difficult, but important, to remind ourselves that the violence that has been happening to us these past months, the pummeling, the vile, the flooding one, is only part of our experience. In our darkest moments, everything seems soaked in pain, but life is so much more than trauma, we and our sensory experience are so much more. And despite the chilling horror, despite the uncertainty, we choose to live.
It is difficult, but important, to remind ourselves that the violence that has been happening to us these past months, the pummeling, the vile, the flooding one, is only part of our experience. In our darkest moments, everything seems soaked in pain, but life is so much more than trauma, we and our sensory experience are so much more. And despite the chilling horror, despite the uncertainty, we choose to live.
What to do?
1. Call things by their proper names: what happened to you, or what you witnessed--was it scary, aggressive, inhumane, frightening, cruel? Was it violent? Did you have a sense of loss of control?
2. Talk to those you trust, those who understand, those who have witnessed what you have witnessed, those with whom it is safe. Talk it out. Ask the listener for what you really need in this conversation: silent presence, emotional feedback, shared experiences, supportive tactile contact, a request for help and practical advice, informational support, help with referring to the subject matter experts?
4. Allowing yourself to feel is harder than it sounds. Emotions are a marker of what is happening to us in contact with the outside world, an opportunity to understand what our needs in that contact are not being met. Emotions can be intense, but not destructive. Cry if you want to cry, stomp your feet if you are angry, yearn for a lost sense of security. Whatever the feelings, ask yourself what could be supportive for you right now if you feel (insert a description of your emotional state)?
2. Talk to those you trust, those who understand, those who have witnessed what you have witnessed, those with whom it is safe. Talk it out. Ask the listener for what you really need in this conversation: silent presence, emotional feedback, shared experiences, supportive tactile contact, a request for help and practical advice, informational support, help with referring to the subject matter experts?
4. Allowing yourself to feel is harder than it sounds. Emotions are a marker of what is happening to us in contact with the outside world, an opportunity to understand what our needs in that contact are not being met. Emotions can be intense, but not destructive. Cry if you want to cry, stomp your feet if you are angry, yearn for a lost sense of security. Whatever the feelings, ask yourself what could be supportive for you right now if you feel (insert a description of your emotional state)?
5. Trust your body and follow it - sleep as much as you want, eat, move as you want or don't move; lie curled up if you really want to, try to feel pleasure in being able to "hide and freeze".
6. Identify your triggers - what events/places/stories are causing you to relive the traumatic experience and respond with painful flashbacks? This is important to understand so that you don't freak out about your reactions. Minimize the likelihood of encountering triggers as much as possible.
7. Limit reading the news and watching traumatic content. Information about violence faced by people in the reference group resonates in us as much as if we were in their shoes ourselves.
8. Seek psychological help here, here and here.
9. Find your ways of resistance and activity that can support you, regain your own subjectivity - here it is important to remember what brings you pleasure, joy, a pleasant bodily response, what is fulfilling and soothing. Finding resources and being able to turn to them in difficult moments is an important part of the healing process. Remind yourself that there is much more to life than the trauma of what happened to you, even if in the current moment it seems like everything has collapsed to a single event.
6. Identify your triggers - what events/places/stories are causing you to relive the traumatic experience and respond with painful flashbacks? This is important to understand so that you don't freak out about your reactions. Minimize the likelihood of encountering triggers as much as possible.
7. Limit reading the news and watching traumatic content. Information about violence faced by people in the reference group resonates in us as much as if we were in their shoes ourselves.
8. Seek psychological help here, here and here.
9. Find your ways of resistance and activity that can support you, regain your own subjectivity - here it is important to remember what brings you pleasure, joy, a pleasant bodily response, what is fulfilling and soothing. Finding resources and being able to turn to them in difficult moments is an important part of the healing process. Remind yourself that there is much more to life than the trauma of what happened to you, even if in the current moment it seems like everything has collapsed to a single event.
Mila Vedrova
Psychologist, trainer, art activist. Minsk, Belarus