Alesya
"It is impossible to give an accurate description of your feeling vulnerable if you live in Belarus and participate in all these events."
Alesya
"It is impossible to give an accurate description of your feeling vulnerable if you live in Belarus and participate in all these events."
Alesya is an activist and artist. Her turning point was the moment when she was a hair's breadth away from being detained during the march in memory of Raman Bandarenka. After that, she practically could not speak for a couple of days and realised that she was scared to death. She was afraid for her life, well-being and the opportunity to continue fighting.
After [the presidential election in] 2010, I decided that I would try to keep well out of our state's reach when shaping my own life. Then the election in which I cast my ballot for the first time resulted in failure. All that happened next was my waves of nausea at the sight of policemen and some local administration's interior.
To survive in this city, I sought to have influence on social changes, that is why I work in the sector of culture and civic activism. Now many people say that the solidarity boom was in August. Belarusians have woken up! But we have always had a lot of social initiatives in the fields where vulnerable groups need help; there are independent activist organisations that exist without state support.
To survive in this city, I sought to have influence on social changes, that is why I work in the sector of culture and civic activism. Now many people say that the solidarity boom was in August. Belarusians have woken up! But we have always had a lot of social initiatives in the fields where vulnerable groups need help; there are independent activist organisations that exist without state support.
This year, everyone has finally realised that not only do we solve our problems ourselves, we also maintain this parasitic power. It turns out that during this summer everything that was obvious to several small groups has become obvious to everyone. The coronavirus issue contributed to this awakening. There was an opportunity to compare various countries' attitudes to the value of human life. Our state simply brushed the problem aside and made a survival experiment out of the country.
Everything has changed; now, for the first time in my whole life, I do not want to leave Belarus.
Some things that seemed to be piles that could never be moved simply do not exist now. There was hope and inspiration. I saw that there were lots of us. In fact, all of us have been living in this new Belarus for a long time.
When taking to the streets now, you hardly come across your acquaintances. Earlier, it seemed that you knew everyone who might take part in rallies. There are completely different people here, they support each other, like a big family. I do not know what will happen next; violence, threats and fear have become our everyday. Life is not very pleasant now. But now there is hope for a normal future, we never have it before.
My involvement in the 2020 elections began in May, during the election campaign. I saw Tsapkala's post on Facebook, then Babaryka announced his joining the presidential run. Media outles started interviewing them, there were long conversations and talks, singlehandedly reviewing older interviews, i.e. getting to know these persons better. I remember the day when Babaryka said at the end of an interview:
My involvement in the 2020 elections began in May, during the election campaign. I saw Tsapkala's post on Facebook, then Babaryka announced his joining the presidential run. Media outles started interviewing them, there were long conversations and talks, singlehandedly reviewing older interviews, i.e. getting to know these persons better. I remember the day when Babaryka said at the end of an interview:
When taking to the streets now, you hardly come across your acquaintances. Earlier, it seemed that you knew everyone who might take part in rallies. There are completely different people here, they support each other, like a big family. I do not know what will happen next; violence, threats and fear have become our everyday. Life is not very pleasant now. But now there is hope for a normal future, we never have it before.
My involvement in the 2020 elections began in May, during the election campaign. I saw Tsapkala's post on Facebook, then Babaryka announced his joining the presidential run. Media outles started interviewing them, there were long conversations and talks, singlehandedly reviewing older interviews, i.e. getting to know these persons better. I remember the day when Babaryka said at the end of an interview:
My involvement in the 2020 elections began in May, during the election campaign. I saw Tsapkala's post on Facebook, then Babaryka announced his joining the presidential run. Media outles started interviewing them, there were long conversations and talks, singlehandedly reviewing older interviews, i.e. getting to know these persons better. I remember the day when Babaryka said at the end of an interview:
"Thank you, I love you all very much!"
"Thank you, I love you all very much!"
What was that? How should one react to this? None of our politicians had used such language before. Some brand new things were happening! That was the first salient point. Then Tsikhanouski was locked up, Soutine's Eva was stolen, and the evoting kicked off.
You watch the news every day and you cannot believe that such things are truly going on. Not a single Netflix series' twisting storyline could be compared to that pace of developments in Belarus.
You watch the news every day and you cannot believe that such things are truly going on. Not a single Netflix series' twisting storyline could be compared to that pace of developments in Belarus.
I saw kilometre-long lines of Belarusians willing to sign in support of wannabe presidential nominees, as well as people queueing to file a complaint with the Central Election Commission. One could hardly believe it was real.
It was the time when I talked a lot to my relatives, explaining why it was important to sign, why it was important to vote. I told them how to use the e-platform Golos (Vote). The main task was to break the barrier of political apathy built for 26 years, the myth that you will never be able to change anything.
It was the time when I talked a lot to my relatives, explaining why it was important to sign, why it was important to vote. I told them how to use the e-platform Golos (Vote). The main task was to break the barrier of political apathy built for 26 years, the myth that you will never be able to change anything.
Then I was an independent election observer. Having collected the signatures required, I arrived in my hometown. I was rebuffed by the local election commission four times, they claimed the signatures were fake or the text was unreadable. As a result, I was registered [as an observer]. But the way they behaved was disgusting.
Playing the pandemic card, they did not allow us [independent observers] to be in the building. Notably, the members of the commission were not wearing any masks. When it rained, we were barred from standing on the porch under the entrance canopy, since, according to them, we could 'create obstacles for voters' and contribute to the spread of COVID-19. So we had to be outside. They said there were no chairs in the school. 'You may not go to the toilet due to the coronavirus,' they said. That 'coronavirus' issue popped up only when those regime minions needed a convenient excuse. They also tasked a person with keeping an eye on us; he was constantly pacing back and forth. At some moment he even put a white ribbon on his hand, it was a very poor show. We brought our own chairs, asked to use the toilet in a shop near the school, and continued to count the number of voters. With every passing day, we witnessed the growing discrepancy between our results and the records in the commission's protocols.
Playing the pandemic card, they did not allow us [independent observers] to be in the building. Notably, the members of the commission were not wearing any masks. When it rained, we were barred from standing on the porch under the entrance canopy, since, according to them, we could 'create obstacles for voters' and contribute to the spread of COVID-19. So we had to be outside. They said there were no chairs in the school. 'You may not go to the toilet due to the coronavirus,' they said. That 'coronavirus' issue popped up only when those regime minions needed a convenient excuse. They also tasked a person with keeping an eye on us; he was constantly pacing back and forth. At some moment he even put a white ribbon on his hand, it was a very poor show. We brought our own chairs, asked to use the toilet in a shop near the school, and continued to count the number of voters. With every passing day, we witnessed the growing discrepancy between our results and the records in the commission's protocols.
You realise that you cannot do anything else.
On election night and during the first three post-election days, I happened to be in the hottest protest spots of Minsk. The Internet was switched off throughout the country, we could not assess the risks. Perhaps, if I had seen a real picture, I would not have been able to leave home because of fear.
I live in the city centre, and riot policemen were running around in the yard. Protesters were hiding in my flat. The entrance to our block of flats was open, and there were bandages and water left on the mailboxes. When I grew more afraid to take to the streets, I began to volunteer in the service of supporting detainees. Even after having heard out the stories of the victims' relatives, you still find it hard to believe that the evils have turned into current reality. The streets became empty in the evening, the avenue was shut off. Out of my window, I was looking at a completely empty tram, the blocked avenue as well as prison trucks and vehicles loaded with barbed wire which were driving out of the city.
I live in the city centre, and riot policemen were running around in the yard. Protesters were hiding in my flat. The entrance to our block of flats was open, and there were bandages and water left on the mailboxes. When I grew more afraid to take to the streets, I began to volunteer in the service of supporting detainees. Even after having heard out the stories of the victims' relatives, you still find it hard to believe that the evils have turned into current reality. The streets became empty in the evening, the avenue was shut off. Out of my window, I was looking at a completely empty tram, the blocked avenue as well as prison trucks and vehicles loaded with barbed wire which were driving out of the city.
On election night and during the first three post-election days, I happened to be in the hottest protest spots of Minsk. The Internet was switched off throughout the country, we could not assess the risks. Perhaps, if I had seen a real picture, I would not have been able to leave home because of fear.
I live in the city centre, and riot policemen were running around in the yard. Protesters were hiding in my flat. The entrance to our block of flats was open, and there were bandages and water left on the mailboxes. When I grew more afraid to take to the streets, I began to volunteer in the service of supporting detainees. Even after having heard out the stories of the victims' relatives, you still find it hard to believe that the evils have turned into current reality. The streets became empty in the evening, the avenue was shut off. Out of my window, I was looking at a completely empty tram, the blocked avenue as well as prison trucks and vehicles loaded with barbed wire which were driving out of the city.
I live in the city centre, and riot policemen were running around in the yard. Protesters were hiding in my flat. The entrance to our block of flats was open, and there were bandages and water left on the mailboxes. When I grew more afraid to take to the streets, I began to volunteer in the service of supporting detainees. Even after having heard out the stories of the victims' relatives, you still find it hard to believe that the evils have turned into current reality. The streets became empty in the evening, the avenue was shut off. Out of my window, I was looking at a completely empty tram, the blocked avenue as well as prison trucks and vehicles loaded with barbed wire which were driving out of the city.
I have difficulty describing what was going on after that. Most of the time, you feel sick, just because you get tired of the immense information flow, of sort of endless humiliation.
I have difficulty describing what was going on after that. Most of the time, you feel sick, just because you get tired of the immense information flow, of sort of endless humiliation.
Once they attempted to detain me, but women fought me off. That was the last straw. I have been reeling from it for a long time ... I might be still licking the wounds. On the back of the incident, I practically could not speak within four days. I did not think it would be so scary. For months, I had been witnessing, reading, picturing other people's stories for myself. For fear of being arrested, I packed a 'jail' bag: it seemed to me I was ready. But I was wrong. At the moment of detention, the ground crumbles from under your feet. They might beat you, they might abuse you. It is cold outside, you might have to lie on the ground without a mattress. On the other hand, it is good if you allowed to lie - now even sitting on plank beds is forbidden [in detention centres]. I do not want to face it, I will not stand it.
I take off my hat to the people who go to prison trucks without anxiety, they are superheroes! When they grabbed me, I started to cry. It was so scary that my heart sank. That man wearing green uniform was holding me by the hand and by the collar of my coat. It is beyond any description how much anger, negativity, abomination were flowing from him! You do not understand whether you can resist; what if he starts beating you with that baton in his hand? Will you survive or not? That occurred just after the murder of Raman Bandarenka. That occurred during the march in his memory.
In the first days, when I was asked about the situation, I immediately burst into tears. Then I started consulting a trauma therapist. I began to control my body, actions, and somehow I got out of it. There are no words to describe how vulnerable you feel living in Belarus and participating in all these events. I did not take part in Sunday marches anymore.
In the first days, when I was asked about the situation, I immediately burst into tears. Then I started consulting a trauma therapist. I began to control my body, actions, and somehow I got out of it. There are no words to describe how vulnerable you feel living in Belarus and participating in all these events. I did not take part in Sunday marches anymore.
I fear that our people will stop winning urban space back.
We are suppressed very much. Many have already left Belarus, they could not resist and I am afraid I might give up soon. There is no longer a place in Minsk where I feel safe. But there are people who keep going out. It is an important factor that provides moral support. After the death of Raman Bandarenka, the state of things became even more appalling. The person was killed in his own yard by some thugs. After that you think twice whether you should ever leave home on the weekend.
Street protests, flags on the windows, murals and ribbons in yards - all these things are symbols which help people go through this difficult period of repression in Belarus. The authorities also know it, that is why they they shoot at windows, beat people, humiliate them. They think that if one hides the symbols, people will lose hope. But the victory has already taken place - the victory is in our heads, in our feeling that we will never be putting up with this regime again, that we are the majority.
Street protests, flags on the windows, murals and ribbons in yards - all these things are symbols which help people go through this difficult period of repression in Belarus. The authorities also know it, that is why they they shoot at windows, beat people, humiliate them. They think that if one hides the symbols, people will lose hope. But the victory has already taken place - the victory is in our heads, in our feeling that we will never be putting up with this regime again, that we are the majority.
We are suppressed very much. Many have already left Belarus, they could not resist and I am afraid I might give up soon. There is no longer a place in Minsk where I feel safe. But there are people who keep going out. It is an important factor that provides moral support. After the death of Raman Bandarenka, the state of things became even more appalling. The person was killed in his own yard by some thugs. After that you think twice whether you should ever leave home on the weekend.
Street protests, flags on the windows, murals and ribbons in yards - all these things are symbols which help people go through this difficult period of repression in Belarus. The authorities also know it, that is why they they shoot at windows, beat people, humiliate them. They think that if one hides the symbols, people will lose hope. But the victory has already taken place - the victory is in our heads, in our feeling that we will never be putting up with this regime again, that we are the majority.
Street protests, flags on the windows, murals and ribbons in yards - all these things are symbols which help people go through this difficult period of repression in Belarus. The authorities also know it, that is why they they shoot at windows, beat people, humiliate them. They think that if one hides the symbols, people will lose hope. But the victory has already taken place - the victory is in our heads, in our feeling that we will never be putting up with this regime again, that we are the majority.